5 years

I created this page years ago. I told myself I’d post at least weekly. That means I’m about 200 or so posts behind. I have failed at keeping up with this. Just being honest, I’ll probably fail to keep up with it in the future too. I’ve failed in many ways at many things. I’m just a human.

I have realized, I’ve used having 7 kids as an excuse for failing. Having preemies as an excuse for failing. Having a baby as an excuse for failing. Problems with my sleep, money, relationship, car, you name it, as an excuse for failing. Failing to do things I should do. Failing to be on time. Failing to be the always calm, patient, loving person I dream to be. I’m just a broken human.

For lent, I gave up Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram. That’s what lead me back to here. Nursing a baby can be boring when you can’t scroll through Facebook or put on a YouTube video. It makes me feel empty in some ways, like I’m missing out on the world and missing my chance to share myself with the world. Then I think, why would I share myself with the world? What do I have to offer the world? I’m just an average broken human.

Just an average broken human. Just: simply; only; no more than. Average: mediocre; not very good. Broken: having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order. Human: of or characteristic of people as opposed to God or animals or machines, especially in being susceptible to weakness.

To the world “just an average broken human” sounds bad or worthy. Thankfully I’m not of this world. The bible says multiple times in multiple ways that I am enough. That God can turn me into someone amazing. That He can use me for His will. So while I continue trying to do better every day, I rest assured that God is not done with me.

Maybe that’s what I have to share with the world. The failures, achievements, and little moments in life that God is using to shape me in to the person He created me to be. Maybe I have something to share that can help someone else. Maybe, just maybe, sharing my life is what I need, to grow me into who I’m made to be. Until next time, be blessed.