Nobody Knows

Nobody knows how hard it is to be a nicu parent unless they’ve experienced it. Nobody knows how scary it is to have a micro preemie, even on good days, it’s scary. Nobody knows the pain behind the smile when you watch your friends and family members bring home their healthy full term babies or share pregnancy updates. Nobody knows the guilt of constantly feeling like your body failed your babies. Nobody knows the fear of watching your child gasp for air while their stats drop and alarms start going off. Nobody knows how you’re dying inside being away from your kids. Nobody knows the rush of panic every time your phone rings. Nobody knows how 20 seconds can feel like forever waiting for your baby to breathe. Nobody knows the sinking feeling when you put your hand on your stomach and remember your babies aren’t there. Nobody knows the intense joy of seeing your babies open their eyes for the first time. Nobody knows just how huge a gram or milliliter can be. Nobody knows the ultimate feeling of peace having a tiny fragile baby laying on your chest. Nobody knows the excitement of the tiniest milestones. Nobody knows the overwhelming joy of hearing it’s been a boring day. Nobody knows the meaning of trust until you tell the nurses you’ll see them in the morning. Nobody knows and that’s a blessing and a curse.